Sportybrains

I can live without running, really. I can get up in the morning, go to the gym, go to work, and do everything I need to do to keep my little slice of the world going 'round. I can even smile and laugh and go to races and cheer and stay in decent shape. But I must admit, my quality of life takes a substantial hit; nothing that happens overnight or is intense, but more like a chronic bruising or at least  subtle discoloration of my self-concept and confidence. When I'm not able to run I do fairly high-quality work with my athletes, but there's an extra element that seems lacking. Basically, for me, living without running is just, well sub-par. At least not how I'd choose to live.

"Live like a clock". Denton to Cassidy in "Again to Carthage"

So for the past three months as I have been in the recovery and restoration process, I've battled that sneaky ennui that only a distance runner can understand; waiting for the morning where I wake up pumped up again and ready to take on whatever comes my way.  While the athlete's lifestyle is hard-wired in, it's funny how over time the alarm going off became a small battle wages between getting up and cross-training, not expecting the day to be anything spectacular. Everyday was "just another day" in a chain of days that ultimately ran together. What's weirder is that I didn't even notice this effect happening. Until today. Just like when I'm in training and mornings are exciting because I get to do my devotional, drink some fluids, and lace up. It's been almost a full month since I started back at running and this time around it's been a battle: proprioception loss, muscle atrophy scar tissue (almost as bad as the fracture), and working through doubts.

Early on it was still a bit of a battle to get out and re-connect with this sport I adore so much. This morning was different I woke up like usual without any alarm with a vague excitement and sense of ownership of whatever happens with the day. Planned was a simple nature trail run in my Defyance 6's, 3 loops around and about 4.5ish miles total. That excitement and energy I like about myself was there. All because of a run? Maybe, but maybe it's just time to shift gears and trust my body again.

On to the actual run itself: I've decided that mentally, the way to go (at least for a little while) is totally unplugged : no timing device, especially no GPS. While HR is important and containing my effort, what I feel I need is to just go back to basics for a season again without micromanaging things and simply re-connect with the art of the run versus the science. While both had their place, my goal of a positive experience was well exceeded on just a simple nature trail today. While each run has progressively become less wonky and more controlled, today was the first time where I could feel my form that I am admittedly quite proud of return: plenty of hip drive and control, feet landing underneath without any additional effort. I could even feel that familiar glide across the ground.

Actually, while my speed is still going to be a work in progress, I the strength and pool work felt like it was paying off. While I thought about basically nothing for however long I was out, I couldn't help but feel a little excitement for some of the new approaches I'm working on and a slight sense of confidence. Just as I mentioned earlier, and forgive me for sounding dramatic, I felt like myself again, felt that sense of confidence and purpose.

Is running my cure for all? Absolutely not. Does it affect my daily life and assist with a sense of purpose? So much, as I've mentioned in previous posts.. It takes little moments like this morning to re-establish the gratitude for the gift of the run. The plan is to stay on my current course of gradual progress and strength building, and I'll likely fill y'all in on that shortly. Til then, I'll be on a trail or grassy surface, likely smiling and enjoying myself.

No watch, no problem. Just add dirt. (and don't forget to stretch!)

How did you enjoy your gift today?

Stay the course.