Sportybrains

"There is too much negativity and fear in distance running".

The past few weeks have been fairly encouraging-training, professionally, and otherwise. I don't find it surprising that when a number of things are clicking along, so comes the running as well. One thing I will say, however, is that 'encouraging' in no way means easy. Maybe I'm just learning how to let go and respond a little better. I will spare the reader the wordy details of the ABB 5k on 1/17; simply it wasn't a smashing success but it didn't totally suck either. I wouldn't trade that race weekend for the world so I got what I came there for. There are a few things that I did take away from it-and hopefully I can use them to grow. Before I get into that, when I reflected on my past training cycle and race performance, a good amount of things have crossed my mind.....

*Beware of the semi-coherent stream of consciousness that follows*

My reaction to not meeting a goal was different after thinking about it a day or so. By different I walked away frustrated and annoyed, but not at myself, not at my coach, but at the race distance itself. This time, it was less personal. I spent much less time beating myself up and instead forming a different plan to mentally attack better in the future. I believe now more than ever; to run successfully, you have to almost detach yourself from your performances from time to time and just see them for what they are.

Instead of wanting to shy away and avoid the discomfort and perceived under-performance, I felt the chip on my shoulder I used to race with re-forming and it's a pretty deep one. In a sense, over the past couple weeks I seem to have reconnected with the need to be aggressive out there. That sensation of lactate buildup no longer is a warning that I need to slow down or bad things will happen, it means I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing for that distance. Before I had things to be 'afraid of' I raced with guts. I didn't care much how I felt during it. It took a race where I didn't necessarily race with guts to learn to approach things differently.

Coach Doug and I have talked training mileage over the past couple weeks as well. I'm now working my way back up to 50 miles per week, then evaluating from there where to go. Chump change for many, but a big deal for me. 50 to me means getting into a training rhythm. 50 to me means reasonably fit and prepared. It has also been a hard peak to reach in recent times. But that was then. The work I have been doing while stringing together as much run training as possible I think everything else I did in hopes of it coming together- is starting to pay off.

It feels like I am transitioning back onto the path to be the runner I know I can be. Just maybe, over time I will exceed even my own expectations. As Lauren Fleshman wrote recently: "there is no such thing as a perfect training cycle, but there is such thing as excellent adaptation".

I recall that before I became a more serious runner, I was simply an athlete. I could do a number of different things and had an attitude of progress and learning more so than hard and fast goals. This worked. Looking back now, I see that by the years of becoming more 'athletic' again and being limited on the mileage, the running benefits from it. It was only recently that I told my massage therapist that I noticed that I feel different now when I train. Light, yet strong.

This transition is likely a long-term project, but I'm all in and have places I want to go. But not immediately. I can wait and do the work. But it is a cool feeling recognizing parts of oneself that you thought were gone. I have one race per month through April planned out (WITH a requested break afterward)-my next phase is re-learning how to really feel the race experience again.

It's gonna be a fun ride.


Stay the course.