Sportybrains

It's amazing what happens whenever we peel back the emotion from a situation and actually flip it around and examine its every angle. This approach is good for all aspects of life, and (at least for me) works quite well for run training. Not sure what I mean, then keep reading....

Myself and so many fellow endurance athletes view training and goals in a pretty fixed way-at least I do-and have trouble in having enough faith to make a change, whether it be a different goal, different distance, totally different training approach, etc. I know my goals have shaped the way I saw myself; if I met them, then my value went up, but after falling short for reasons either beyond my control or because of things I didn't know at the time, it has been a challenge to still view my 'athletic self' the same way. When this happens, then it may be time to make a change.

Change is scary. Change requires adjustment. Change requires faith and trust. When it's all said and done, change can be really freaking freeing. I have blogged recently about several changes and lessons I've picked up over the past few months: new coach, new (and beloved) sponsors, and new technology and testing to find out what my body may be capable of if things work out.

Another tough lesson I've encountered lately is that my body is not ready to take on full marathon training.  After literally YEARS of disappointment and guesswork and getting hopes up and watching them crash down, I have been able to get sound medical advice and suggestions on how to proceed. This after an MRI showing abnormal fluid in my foot shortly after atrophy causally observed in that same foot from a PT colleague (who I may owe my running career to when it's said and done!). I am no sports med. professional, but if you have no natural support in your foot and you increase your mileage and try to run hard, bad things will happen.

That is until you address what's going on. Address that and accept that I am the type of runner who just can't jump in with others and pound 10 miles on the sidewalk without thinking about it. According to the doc-"my training is going to be somewhat inconvenient" and I was advised professionally on what surfaces to run on. Additionally, Coach Doug and I talked it over and re-worked the goals and training approach. Joe Vigil's statement of "there is no place for emotion in training and competing" is definitely relevant here as it can impair seeing what's really best for us.

While it was hard to let go (at least temporarily) of my BQ pursuit at first because of-you guessed it-emotional attachment, I was surprised with how easy it was to totally shift gears and focus. Instead of spending all morning running and the rest of the day trying to recover from the beating that is marathon training, (fellow Oiselle runner/personal role model, Lauren Fleshman attests to this as well), perhaps I should take a shorter-distance focus for a while, in both racing and training. I'm not sure what my land mileage will add up to, but I know there will be considerable cross-training to supplement and keep my seemingly-oversized cardio system somewhat happy and not causing me to blow out another ankle while I re-shape it!

Which leads to a new lesson I've learned: HARD, consistent, so monotonous you want to scratch your eyes out but are too tired pool running (ok it's not that bad!) translates really well to the real thing. Being an amphibious athlete lately, I've taken the legs back to land and so far have been freaked out with good my stride feels. All the balance and stability has also helped, I'm sure-but that wind-sucking, super-sore, slow feeling from last return is not here this time. This makes it a lot easier to cope with the idea that I won't be putting in really big miles. Besides, if I can get away with it....

As for a change in racing goals, I will admit a moment (or several hours) where I really hit that dark place and felt really sorry for myself. I *may* have sulked in my office and said to myself that I maybe should see a sport psychologist. Then I looked around and felt awkward. Whoops. This one was hard though, and I decided that something had to give and I had nothing to prove, but plenty of passion to burn for this sport.

So I learned for myself, vs. with a client because it's different-that letting go of a goal is very hard, but sometimes necessary because you have to meet yourself with where you are at. So here and now, step one is get a good regime going that is inclusive and high-quality, get that speed back that I know I still have while being creative and working on having two good feet again. Sounds realistic, sounds a little scary, but exciting at the same time. I want to get my toughness back and that feeling of freedom vs. racing afraid again. That and kick some serious ass, but one step at a time!

AT least in this small part of my life, I have had to give up some control to gain control back. My apologies for dragging this whole story out again and again, but hopefully those who may be needing to mix things up after hitting a wall can take something from it. Oh, and I get to finally use an Alter-G here soon! There likely will be a story to go with it. I am so fortunate to have access to so many good individuals and resources to be able to continue this absurd pastime of mine. But it is part of who I am, and as we evolve in other areas of life-we can evolve as athletes as well.

Stay the course. Even if you have to change it sometimes.